Brutal Repetitions

from by Nick Iles

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lyrics

Oh god I cry out to you as I say
Yahweh, I scream out your name
I desperately plead to you when I pray
That I could change the brutal repetitions of the day

Every morning I wake up and I swear
That I won't fall and that I can bear
The weight but that's not how it goes
I've denied you 3 times when the rooster crowed
Pass about half way through the day
And things aren't going quite my way
So I start to shove aside my sin
Saying "that's not where I'm going that's where I been"

I convince myself that' I'm ok
That It's really not that bad any way
I live in constant self-deception
I live in consistent deprivation
every dawn I start out fresh and new
And every night I return naked and abused
And no matter what I say to you
I can't seem to change these things I do

Oh son I see what you're trying to do
Let me shed a little light, a little truth
That fight comes from inside of you
That fight Satan’s demons have been starting to use

Let me tell you the story of a man
Who couldn't take the weight, he couldn't stand
Every day he lost his personal bet
To the tempting taunts of his next cigarette
He would debate whether or not he would walk
To that gas station around the block
He'd open the door and he would say
I'll turn back before I make it all the way

But before he stepped out of his room
He'd given in to his sinful gloom
"I'll take a pack" are the words that he spoke
And a single pack that man did smoke
You see he'd lost the battle in his mind
It was done long before walked outside
Don't even toy with the idea of giving in
If you do that, you'll never win

Oh father I know your word is true
I could recite your law right back to you
But my acts have turned to habits while en route
And then this life of chaos did ensue

I repent of my sin daily
And I been drive myself crazy
And though I try to escape
I fall deeper into this state
I try to forget and move on
I try to say that it's really not all that wrong
As I descend lower into this
I trick myself that ignorance is bliss

My once in a while off to the side little problem
Has made me into a child of Sodom
I try to fix my eyes on you
But my eyes are broken and confused
Father, my choices are starting to be
Another habit or tendency
Something I did as a weekly suffix
Has become my hourly practice

Keep me on the forefront of your mind
Tattoo it in your heart that you are mine
For you are week but I am strong
Live in me and I will keep you from all wrong
Every morning when you wake up say a prayer
And remind yourself that I'm always there
And before you've talked to anyone else
Make sure you've talked to me all by yourself

When you're about to give up hope
Take a step back from that slippery slope
Of letting your heart get away from you
And tell Satan this is the day he'll rue
Every night before you lay down your head
Just remember all that I have said
And give thanks to the one who created you
Then go to sleep, the day is through

credits

from Northern Lights, released January 18, 2015

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Nick Iles Waukesha, Wisconsin

A home recorded music production for anyone who wants to listen.

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